LauraPowersOutOnNewYearsEve
God, if that's what the New Years baby is going to be like I suggest we all shoot ourselves right now.
Dante83
Wayyy after curfew. Where have you been?" "Lay off me, I'm free now!" "Not as long as you live under my Mucosa, young larvae!"
MoldLangSyne
"...and eliminate one of the Dakotas and one of the Carolinas. What's with all this North AND South business, anyway? And that's why I need your vote for President in 2004!"
MoldLangSyne
"It has come to my attention that there apparently is a 'West Virginia' in addition to regular Virginia. Well, West Virginia's gone too, if you elect me!" *Paid for by People Against West Virginia*
new_years_gleeb
And what the Hell is up with Rhode Island? A state you can spit across? Roll it into Connecticut, I say!
new_years_gleeb
...and we now know that Wyoming is in fact a fraud perpetrated by the Mapmaking Cartel.
MoldLangSyne
"By the way, what's with all these 'New' states? You know, New York, New Hampshire, New Mexico -- what was wrong with the old ones?!?! Vote Fleener in 2004!"
MoldLangSyne
"Then there's Kansas. I just plain don't like Kansas. And you won't have to, either, if you elect me as this nation's next leader!"
new_years_gleeb
And if Oklahoma isn't run by drug dealers, why's it shaped like a "pot"? Hmmm?
new_years_gleeb
My fellow Americans, consider Florida, dangling off the continent like a big penis! Zip it up, says I!
shanky
"And what's with Ohio? It's a 4 letter word , but it has THREE syllables? Not under my rule!"
MoldLangSyne
"Hi! It's me again, your old pal, Ned Fleener, reminding you that Iowa stands for Idiots Out Wandering Around. Do we want that in this country? I submit that we do not! Vote Fleener!"
new_years_gleeb
Don't think I've forgotten Hawaii. What's wrong, too good to be connected to our continent, Kino?
Dante83
"And what's with all the P's and S's and I's in Mississippi. If I'm elected, it will be spelled the way it is pronounced 'MISIPI'
MoldLangSyne
"Alabama. Need I say more?"
new_years_gleeb
And why isn't Michigan contiguous? Something fishy going on there. When elected, I'll investigate!
new_years_gleeb
And where does Washington get off having a damn rain forest? In a temperate zone! Commie freaks!
MoldLangSyne
"And furthermore, Oregon? Ore-GONE, when I'm President!"
Dante83
"Court Reporter, read that back to me." "'Court Reporter, read that back to me.;" "Excellent.
MoldLangSyne
"Missouri, Missourah...tomato, tomahto, let's call your whole state off!"
new_years_gleeb
"On Wisconsin" Ever notice they never tell you on WHAT!
MoldLangSyne
"And Alaska? Alaska to get the hell out of my country, that's what I'll do!"
MoldLangSyne
"Oh, and as for you, Vermont and Hampshire -- yes, I said Hampshire. You know my stance on calling it 'new' -- I'm combining the 2 of you into one state and calling it Fleeneramavilleberg."
new_years_gleeb
Colorado, you can be a mountain state or a plains state. Pick one!
Dante83
"And I mean Vermont and Wisconsin are practically the same thing anyway, so one of them is getting the boot."
TyranosaurstomachRex
"Ok, where's the fire lady?" "You're the fireman, asshole. You tell me"
Have_a_Happy_Moatas_Year
and I thought buying acrerage on the moon was a bad idea
Kota
50 Billion silk worms out of work, just so we can have "Leggs"......
Have_a_Happy_Moatas_Year
Being into 'earth colors', Frank was often mistaken for a tree