carbonbased
"Who had the Spam?"
Buffoon
"Hey! No home building here! We're not done roaming yet! Go bother the damn deer and antelope! They're over thataway, playing."
Matteus
nevermind how I got stuck in here, help me out!!
WilliamHMacysDayParade
"I said, "Myron, stop and ask for directions, but did you? No, you just kept swimming....right into the net!" "Not now, Lois!"
Dante83
Man, all the swimming upstream... I'm beat. It's nice to just relax. Wait a minute, where the hell are we?!
GersonK
Mr. Limpett, no!
Matteus
"...now you're doing a Yanni lick, now just hold it down until you get a record deal with Windham Hill"
144butterball
Weirdest Advent calendar I've ever seen.
Matteus
I'm 17, when can I start using chairs?
Soozcat
Guy probably wears suspenders and a belt.
Billy_Zoom:
Watch out, Scotty, they have cellophane body armor...
amycamus
If "Cocktail" and "The Best Years of Our Lives" had a child...!
turkey-ina-wickerbasket
We interrupt the Verrazano for this important announcement from the Statue of Liberty. . ."How come I don't' get any say in who gets to climb my stairs? It's my body, ain't it?!"
UnReality
His e-mails largely ignored, the Nigerian Minister for Finance turns to pornography to raise funds.
Moatas
Sure, your folks are dead, your spouse left you, you have no job, you're broke but hell, man. walk it off!
Mr_Grant
Did not see the posture short.
posthumous:
Tell me, does this face make me look old?
Hinermad
o/ Saline, takes me away...
AJ
Thats one fancy phone booth.
AJ The Bomb
Sign here here here..and here.. and then you're mine.. (other guy: What?) ..Nothing!
holenozone:
" What we have here is a failure to communicate,...as well as act, or make any sense at all."
Forkboy
"I need 10 cc's of 10W-30 stat!"
CranZoogi
The melting clocks will arrive momentarily.
Dante83
"Tell me, do you think I look a bit like Gregory Peck made to look aged?" "No." "What about Colonel Sanders?" "No." "It's finger lickin' good!" "Can I go home now, sir?"
TorgosHand:
"Please tell me there's a coaster under that glass!"
NurseNoir
Pedos: The Toes of Fate!
blahblahgirl
home movies 101 way to capture the beauty of barely recognizable photography
MrAtomik
and when one gets dirty, he jsut moves on to the next, when they're all dirty he'll just sell the house
The_Seer:
Even Liza Minelli was disgusted with Michael Jackson when she heard about his arrest.
gleeb:
All the obstetricians on their world are in favor of forceps, but none of them are very good at using them.
The_Seer:
"Why yes, we got drunk last night and tried to iron each other's heads. How did you know?
KIPPAGE:
After Hearing what Liza said about Michael, the two Aliens decided not to pollute their hardened Soldiers with anythin Earthly
gleeb:
He tried to mix mime and minstrelry, Captain.
The_Seer:
"Captain, I believe your planet once referred to this now rare speciman as a 'Raiders fan'."
gleeb:
No more dixie cups. Another indignity...
The_Seer:
.oO (Drat! Why am I so weak that I can't get this Dustbuster out of its recharger? Oh no, I think I ate turkey before.)