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WEIRD_1
I'm not gay, Bob.. Just because
I like to sleep with men that don't make me gay
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Snard
The pot was unable to call the kettle black, because it was in fact
brass colored.
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Matteus
the truth behind solar eclipses
144b
Check it out, he's playing a Therimin!
Matteus
drink {brown derby pilsner} in
peace, my children
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144b
And each of you will be issued this ID badge. And it will be this size.
Wear at all times, even at bedtime.
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UnReality
"Uh oh. It's a Brazilian soccer team--and they look hungry!"
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gleeb
The architecture world was rocked today as Frank Gehry was caught with
pictures of an underaged building....
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UnReality
"What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! How infinite in
faculties.... In action, how like an angel. In apprehension, how like a
God. Bud here, though, is a bit of dickweed."
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GersonK
Ed's entire act consisted of finding haikus in the Zagat's guide
gleeb
We all knew he wouldn't survive the poetry slam. His material consisted
of reading from a 1983 Zagat guide to Dallas/Fort Worth.
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rickubis
This is side one of a two-sided
tape. The other side is "RCA Victoria".
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144b
And we'll be able to have
telemarketers jam your phone 24hours a day with our new technology.
|

amycamus
.oO(Damn! I coulda swore I hid
that copy of Juggs in between 'Moby Dick' and 'Billy Budd'!...)Oo.
|

psychomorph
David Koresh *IS* Paul Revere
in "Hey Hey It's Paul Revere and the Monkees!"
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|

Racerex
Few night students ever made it
out of the Miskatonic University library alive......
|

Racerex
"Revolution .... Schmevolution
.... I never drank tea, anyway."
UnReality
"Whoa! The code was one if by
land and TWO if by sea? Oh crap."
|

Racerex
"Wow, this would be neat to
drink laudanum out of!!"
UnReality
"Previously on George
Washington, Mad Scientist..."
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UpSky2
" 'A Comparative Study of the
Quantitative Differences Between the Career Discoveries of Joseph Henry
and William Harvey' - I sure hope it's good enough a title to disguise
my stupidity!"
|

144b
It's not quite ham or beef.
It's really nice on a cracker, though.
|

YibbleGuy
"And, at halftime, the score is ...."
TheDiva
Never are enough hours in the day, are there?
gleeb
Never make an appointment with Wonka for a quarter to.
GlitterRock
*tick... ... tick... ... tick... ... tick... *
RodRocket
"Ve haff vays uff making you TOCK!!!"
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|

Moatas
The rest of the time we're lying to you
|

GersonK
Worst Escher. Ehver.
|

evetsggod
the coast guard did a sequel to this. it's called "re-introduction to
haiti"
|
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FryGirl
Reminds me of the time I called in sick and
went to the Giants game and wound up on the Jumbotron for 30 seconds.
|

FryGirl
Shit! There I am again!!!!!
gleeb
Now, FryGirl makes sure she's disguised as
Nobel-prize-winning biologist Barbara McClintock before going to the
game...
|

MrfnordTim
o/` On the woad again. Just can't wait to get on the woad again! o/`
|
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Coakley
"You're in luck, Charlie. We've arrived just in time for
rehersals of our 'Logan's Run' production."
GlitterRock
I don't remember this scene from THX-1138.
|

AlanPartridge
Not now kid, I'm washing Richard Pryor's Pants.
gleeb
Cheer up, Charlie...
Oh, wait, wrong scene.
|

gleeb ...author of "Shacking-Up for Post-Moderns"
|
|

GersonK Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole. This guy, on the other hand...
|

gleeb Hand soap...unguents...deodorizers...man, I got the worst concession at the ball park!
|

Generik Discontinue use if any of the following occur: sweating, itching, oozing, pustulating, stopping in the name of love or shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die.
|
|

144b And me? I'm just the icing on the urinal cake.
|

da_upstart The Vikings of Penzance ??
|

UnReality "Tonight, on Poorly Researched Historical Theater, Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters send Rosa Parks to the back of the bus to get stoned."
|
|

144b It's the Haymarket Square riots all over again. This time, it's the Cubs playing the strikers. (It's the only hits thet can get/]
|

UnReality Oddly enough, each of them is Elvis-themed.
gleeb The Church of Cthulu, the Reformed Church of Cthulu, First Four Square Cthuluist Assembly, and Temple Beth Shub-Niggurath.
|

TheDiva
"Prepare the standard 'rich and famous' contract for
Kermit the Frog and Company."
tinaw
"A lab mouse bent on world domination? Sign me up!"
gleeb
Send up more girls; I'm still hungry.
GlitterRock
"What? Bond would NEVER tap my phone with one of his big
red listening devices! Ha!"
JohnSteed
"Mr. Heston, as much as I'd like to do this 'Touch of
Evil' thing, I'd rather have a 'Touch of Pork Ribs' right now, if you
know what I mean..."
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