Mr_Grant
LBJ autographs a first edition of the Tonkin Gulf Resolution-- "Dear Gene:If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. Ha ha! Lyndon."
Matilda Rose
Surrounded by the mighty grey suit behind him, Frank's white suit began to feel the pangs of inferiority.
da_upstart
"It's a lady lying nude on her back getting a spooned by a seal. It's obivious, Dr. Rorschach"
gleeb
"Why can't we join the Nation of Islam if we want?"
beckett
" Tommy will NEVER be able to resist the sexy power of my new hair band!"
gleeb
*sniff* Gary Larson says he already has a model...
Generik
"Sure, have another drink! Then aim the car for those kids in the crosswalk and step on it!" Ever since the angel on his right shoulder got knocked off in that tragic accident, Jake's gotten bad advice.
Agent_Moldy
"Sheesh -- it's always 'wee-wee' this and 'wee-wee' that. Why can't he just have some roast beef like Stan over there and shut the hell up!"
Generik
"Watch me pull a rabbit out of my Ehrlenmeyer flask!" "But that trick never works!"
Agent_Moldy
Salvador Dali's -- "Bacteria"
hippiemonkeee
This screengrab brought to you by the Acid Concil. Acid: It's what's for dinner.
tinaw
Usually, we see spermatazoa at work. Here, we seem them during off hours. .
gleeb
Wheee! Silly Spirocetes, only from Whammo!
NurseNoir
Actually, Coily was the Tapeworm Sprite...
Agent_Moldy
"TEATS! The Musical!"
Zoogicub
"Samonella? Not in milk!"
gleeb
"Soy, the Silent Killer."
tinaw
"Pasteurizing is for Wussies"
Buffoon
"Cheese. It's damn good for you, no matter what the Goddamn Heart
Association says."
Hinermad
"Lactation and You," or, "America's Greatest Tits!"
amycamus
Richard Harris in "A Man Called Snake"
Hinermad
...but the censors won't let us show you the anvil hanging from the other
end.
buckaroobaby
Whew! That anvil should come loose any time now......
gleeb
Feeding the headless cattle gets kinda nasty...
Buffoon
The hardest part about feeding a headless cow was pouring food and water
down the huge gaping hole at the neck.
amycamus
Weekly World News Exclusive! Headless Cow Found at Petticoat Junction!
Agent_Moldy
"What's that Lassie? You pushed Timmy down the well?"
Generik
"Come on, Lassie! This time it won't be ME going down that well! Come on, girl!" Little Timmy gets his revenge at last...
beckett
"The best part? I'm living in your eyebrow."
flavio
"Hi kids, I'm Franz Kafka. Enjoy the show!"
NurseNoir
After the heyday of Film Noir, out-of-work private eyes flood the unemployment offices.
Indomitus
Okay, we'll take off from Los Angeles, and if we get up enough speed, we should be able to ricochet off Melbourne and fly straight to Berlin.
bosko:
in new car and pine forrest scent
JurassicPork
Imagine how mortified Sally was to give birth during graduation and to have to carry her bastard child in her mortarboard.
rickubis
...in fact, this is the end of the film. So, make up something in your own head, while we go have some coffee.
beckett
" Bend over, spread 'em."
gleeb
Those coming up with the incorrect answers will be sent to Chairman Greenspan's Re-education Camp.
NurseNoir
.oO I loaned Mary that collar 2 weeks ago. Wish she'd give it back- it's my prettiest one! Oo.
NurseNoir
"I though you said we were going on a weenie roast." "Just wait...
beckett
" Fred, you can't be drunk. That's a Catsup bottle you've been swilling out of."
gleeb
They tried to ignore it, but the bottle mocked them, a constant reminder of their ketchup/catsup arguement
tinaw
The tension was palpable. The irritability was at a fever-pitch. Did he really stick his thingy into the coke, or not?
tinaw
"You *knew* I was wearing this dress tonight, bee-yotch!"
gleeb
Oh, Chest Fairy, I knew you'd come!
gleeb
Jim Henson's "Shirley Jackson's _The Lottery_ Babies"
amycamus
Least successful presidential campaign slogans #457 in a series: "A chicken in every pocket."
Agent_Moldy
Easily Distracted Child Abductor: "Hey, little boy, y'want some can -- whoa, are those Buster Browns?!"
Agent_Moldy
All the essentials a good driver needs.
jack_routers
Wow, they had Jedi training films in the 50's! "Okay, Rage leads to
Anger...I mean Fear, Fear leads to Suffering...wait..."
" The building blocks of marriage."
amycamus
The essential building blocks of any healthy relationship.
gleeb
...and whimsy, the building blocks of a capper's psyche.
jack_routers
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. On the other hand, I can just get a Glock and mow everybody down..."
YibbleGuy
If they hit you with a nerve pinch, you hit 'em with a phaser! If they
hit you with a phaser, you hit 'em with a photon torpedo! That's the
CHICAGO way!"
"I love the moment of theirr deathsh, when I am one with the Federration."
Nyssa23
So, somebody finally *did* figure out how to dance about architecture.
Mr_Grant
Kitty Carlisle had a pilot for a cooking show, "Boiling Water with Kitty Carlisle".